Tea-Time Gossip

As written in the Bromley & District News on 27th September, 1940 (page 2)


Under the Bed

A near-by A.A. gun of terrific calibre has brought down a large piece out of one of our ceilings.  Someone said to me, “I do think they ought to warn us” I replied, “Don’t be such a fool.  Do you expect them to knock on the door and say ‘Please we are about to let off a gun,’ as if they just wanted to turn off the water?”  However, one piece of ceiling having come down, others might follow, so we have taken to sleeping under the bed.  Have you tried sleeping under the bed?  You have to develop a new technique altogether.  To begin with you have to invent a new method of progress, since legs are quite useless and become an encumbrance, Knees bend or any such exercise would be a physical impossibility.

The best way is to imagine yourself a mermaid with a tail instead of legs, Thus propelling yourself on your elbows, you may slither in or out under the bed.  Once there, there is no comfortable propping of pillows and reading your way through the horrid sounds of the night.  You must either sleep, or, if you’ve enough batteries and to spare, emulate the April Baby who defeats Hitler by pulling the blankets right over his head and reading inside by torchlight!

As a matter of fact one’s reading at all these fearful days is very limited.  It is almost impossible to concentrate.  I have had two new books on my table waiting for review for nearly a month now, and I just cannot get down to them.  Nothing ever written, one feels, can be nearly so compelling as the difficult days and fearful nights of our actual life at the present time; unless maybe it is the Psalms.  These beautiful passages certainly do take on a new and even startling significance in the light of present events.

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